Short term memories are sometimes vague, but events from long ago can
still be remembered vividly. Family members share old photographs on
facebook and DB will show them to me and point at each person on these
pictures, then tells me where it was taken and who the people in those
photos are. But, ask him to remember his dentist appointment in June and
he gives me a blank look. He`s forgotten. I love it when he remembers the
past and talks about our first meeting, our lovely holidays together and the
way we used to go for restaurant meals on those holidays. He`ll recall the
exact meal we had in Morocco, sitting on a restaurant terrace overlooking
the big square in Marrakech, but can`t remember what I had made for our
dinner the night before.
How time has changed us over the years. The first picture was taken just one
year after we had started living together (14 years ago). The second picture is
from 3 years ago, taken at his niece`s wedding, and the last picture was taken
last summer in Brighton, on an evening out with one of his cousins.
Signs of the dementia started to emerge just after that last photo was taken.
I`d give anything to get that man back from 14 years ago. Dementia has robbed
me of a loving and caring partner, and replaced him with a cantankerous, often
verbally aggressive old cute. Even so I know that underneath it all my DB is
still around, just not able to function or communicate as he used to, makes me
very sad for him. So, I treasure the rare moments of his clarity and remembering.
These moments are precious and priceless, as he appears to be his normal self
once more whilst he remembers the good old days.
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